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Cybersex compulsives can become so involved with their online activities that they ignore their partners and children and risk their jobs. Cooper's survey, 20 percent of the men and 12 percent of the women reported they had used computers at work for some sexual pursuits.

Many companies now monitor employees' online activities, and repeated visits to sexually oriented sites have cost people their jobs. Schneider, who has written extensively on sexual addiction, responds that the damage to a cybersex addict's life and family can be as devastating as that caused by compulsive gambling or addiction to alcohol or drugs.

Researchers writing in the current issue of the journal Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity report that many of the men and women who now spend dozens of hours each week seeking sexual stimulation from their computers deny that they have a problem and refuse to seek help until their marriages and/or their jobs are in serious jeopardy. The survey found that as many as a third of Internet users visited some type of sexual site. Young of the Center for Online Addiction in Bradford, Pa., wrote that "partially as a result of the general population and health care professionals not being attuned to the risks, seemingly harmless cyberromps can result in serious difficulties way beyond what was expected or intended." According to Dr.

For some people, the route to compulsive use of the Internet for sexual satisfaction is fast and short, said Dr. Projected to the country as a whole, this would mean that a minimum of 200,000 men and women have become cybersex addicts in the last few years, Dr. And, he added, because the respondents were self-selected and because denial of the symptoms of sexual compulsivity is commonplace, there are likely to be many more cybersex addicts than the survey indicated. Jennifer Schneider, a physician in Tucson, Ariz., who is associate editor of the journal, said in an interview that even when cybersex addicts and their partners sought treatment, they often concealed their real problem, and therapists often failed to ask questions that would disclose it. Cooper, who works at the San Jose Marital and Sexuality Center in Santa Clara, Calif., cybersex compulsives are just like drug addicts; they "use the Internet as an important part of their sexual acting out, much like a drug addict who has a 'drug of choice,' " and often with serious harm to their home lives and livelihood.

And some people, including two physicians, have landed in federal prison for two years because they downloaded child pornography when authorities were watching, Dr. Still, most who pursue cybersex consider it harmless and safe to do so. In her survey, 91 women and three men in committed relationships said they had experienced serious adverse consequences, including broken relationships, from their partners' cybersex addictions.

While social and safety concerns and fear of discovery may prevent someone from visiting an adult bookstore or prostitute, there are no such constraints when pornography and sexual partners can be called up at any time of the day or night on a computer screen in one's home or office, Dr. Partners commonly reported feeling betrayed, devalued, deceived, ignored and abandoned and unable to compete with a fantasy.

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Children may also suffer as a result of increasing conflict between the parents or breakup of the marriage.

....we dont know something, isnt it better so we crave it less. This morning as I was drinking my coffee in the kitchen my husband walks by and he asks me where I'd put the suitcase. Turn cold shoulder, I'm tried I'm sleepy oh my head hurt this and that. Things have moved on and I feel like posting again. When I last posted I mentioned how my wife had gone from no sex, to no kissing and really no... He seems to be okay with everything but I am not and its frustrating. I hate not having someone to sit up with, chat to, laugh with & be intimate with. Due to her anxiety or whatever it is - she gets distracted and does not take care of things.

In olden times, people's satisfaction levels were easier met and they lived a hard life, with little or no certainty. I ask him where he was going, and he tells me he's leaving to Mexico for another week. and im only doing this cuz no one really knows who i am. I don't know if he is really okay with it or just not saying anything because of the kids. Someone who knows when I need some attention, when I need to offload & talk about my day. If he doesn't want sex ANYMORE he should talk to me about it and be honest! Things could be as simple as keeping her own nails clean or keeping the house clean. who awakens a woman's love with no intention of loving her" -Bob Marley I don't think one should waste their time on someone who only wants you around when it's convenient for them.

"People who are vulnerable can get hooked before they know it." To those who say a behavioral compulsion is not a true addiction, Dr.

Schneider responded with a definition of addiction that would clearly apply to cybersex abusers: "Loss of control, continuation of the behavior despite significant adverse consequences and preoccupation or obsession with obtaining the drug or pursuing the behavior." Although behavioral addictions involve no external drugs, preliminary research has suggested that they cause changes in brain chemicals, like the release of endorphins, that help to perpetuate the behavior.